..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Fuck appropriateness.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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