I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
