if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
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