They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
