She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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