Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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