Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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