my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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