I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
