Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
