you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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