i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
