But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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