curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
