What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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