therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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