I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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