...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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