Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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