Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
