Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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