I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
My pussy is not your playground.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
