That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
