she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
