how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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