make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Randomize
