I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize