if i can run in heels then i can drive
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
True strength comes from lack of pants
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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