He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
