I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
