So drunk its hurt
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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