I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
