i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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