can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
