dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
