if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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