If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
