new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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