Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
high people should be assigned attendants
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
