I am puke
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
