I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
