at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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