i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
