belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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