I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
