is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
false alarm. still invincible.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
