Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
