Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
