found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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