There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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