I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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