...so i touched it.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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