I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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