I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
