omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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