tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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