Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
