i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
