i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
