You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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