you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize