Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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