once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
