Define "chronic" masturbator.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
