he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
